I know you’ve all been waiting for The Amazing Sleeping Man’s wrap up of 2025, so here it is. Cheers, AM
As I sit here sipping eggnog by the wood stove, enjoying its warm glow, and watching the snow as it is gently falling… OK, it is really raining outside, AM keeps buying the lowfat eggnog, you know, the same stuff outlawed by The 1898 Hague Convention on Warfare, and since it is raining I am too much of a wimp to trudge out to the woodshed to get firewood.
So as I sit here, turning up the thermostat to 72 degrees and sipping nice iced tea, I think back on what happened during the year.
As some of you may be aware, AM calls me the “ Amazing Sleeping Man”. And while it is true I have a gift for being able to sleep anywhere at any time: back pews at church while AM is at choir practice, during the Death Star battle scene in the original “ Star Wars”, in the car (sometimes as the passenger,) I did not realize how much I sleep.
Earlier this year, I was looking through a bunch of old family photos my brother found and it was amazing how many pictures there were of me, sleeping. Matt sleeping on a bean bag chair, Matt sleeping on the couch, Matt sleeping on the back porch, Matt sleeping on a table in bar at the O’Club at Fort Polk . OK, that last one I might have been passed out. Things from that night are a little fuzzy. Things like, “Why am I at Fort Polk, Louisiana in 1984?” I was not in the military, let alone the Army in 1984, I was in college working as an accounting clerk . But who among us does not have some nights that are still a little unclear?
Anyway, people tell me I need to sleep less and get out making memories. They may have a point, but I have a counterpoint. When I sleep, I dream, and I remember a fair number of those dreams. So until someone has a memory better than surfing with Big Foot and Barbara Billingsley in Bora Bora, I will keep taking my unplanned naps. Surfing tip: when surfing with Big Foot, always bring an atomic powered leaf blower to dry him off. (I assume he is a he, he did not shave his legs). If you think wet dog smell in the car is bad, well… How many of you are now looking up Barbara Billingsley?
On the medical front, AM decided to have some cosmetic surgery done. She never really liked her right hip bone. So she had it replaced. She was up and walking, kind of, that afternoon. We bought a cold water recirculating pad so she could continuously ice down her hip and she over-followed the doctor’s orders and, as a result, she recovered in a very short period of time, for someone of her slightly advanced age. She has done a couple of hikes without any issues and she is all set to return to skiing.
As for me, I still seem to suffer from occasional low blood pressure. This time, I may or may not have passed out while at the shooting range. Last year, it was after I went shooting and was in the grocery store. Both times it was in August. At first, I thought it was due to the heat. But I also kind of sort of passed out as I got off the chair lift while snowboarding this spring. Note, the lifts here are not some flat area where you disembark, it is usually a short steep ramp. I hit the ramp, and the next thing I knew an attractive ski patrol gal was asking me if I was alright. Long story short, I was. So, off for a stress test. Test came back clean for someone of my youth and vigor. In fact, the doctors said they had never seen a test as good as mine and I aced it… Who knows what is wrong? So now I have a smart watch to monitor my pulse, an insulin pump, a continuous glucose monitor, and hearing aids. I am moving up from Temu Six Million Dollar Man to Dollar General Six Million Dollar Man.
AM finally decided I really did not like towing a camper, so we bought a slightly used (23k miles) Mercedes Conversion van. Wow, is it nice. A comfy bed, a heater, no leaks, solar panels and a generator, small refrigerator, microwave, leather seats, winch with heavy duty bumpers and four-wheel drive. We call it the Rhino. It is so comfortable I have to put a rock under my side of the bed just so I can feel like I am roughing it. The previous owner had it wrapped in a surfer motif. It kind of grows on you. I was thinking of removing it and having it wrapped to look like the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine. If you are older than me, or younger than say, 45, look it up. Is anyone interested is a used A frame hard side travel trailer?
We also bought a Toyota GR86. It only has about two-thirds the power of our last (1965) Mustang, but it weighs a little less and will out accelerate it. Also, if you take off the Grandpa traction controls, it handles like it is on rails. It also has a six speed manual. Darn kids these days all wanting automatics transmissions. Has there been a giant loss of coordination in the world? Since it is a GR, we decided to give it a Tiger-type name because what do Tigers say? They say Grrrreat. At such we were going to call it “Tony.” But that sounds like it is an Italian car. Then we thought about Hobbs, but that name was already taken. So we selected Rex. I always thought Rex would be a good Tiger name. It has a back seat, but I have no clue how someone could sit back there with the two of us sitting up front.
Investment tip for 2026: Buy stock in a performance tire company. AM likes to drive the back roads with all of the traction controls off. (Note from AM: Matt is far faster.)
AM is still writing books and attending book related events like author get-togethers, book-selling fairs, fun with words conventions, and two different Science Fiction Conventions. She still enjoys writing, but I think she enjoys corresponding with her author friends even more.
AM also continues teaching chainsawing for Team Rubicon and she is always on the look out for a tree, any tree, anywhere, in need of being cut down. Unfortunately, with all of the rain in Western Washington, I am afraid she will be headed out there soon to help clean up after the floods.
AM also travels to Vegas a a few times a year to help out with her brother’s medical condition. This year, she even traveled when two-thirds of our government acted like five-year-olds and decided to shut things down. She managed to avoid any delays or cancellations. At least she would have been stuck in Vegas where I hear there are lots of outdoor betting activities. Things like, “will your shoes melt before you cross the street?”
During her last trip, she and her brother went to see “The Wizard of Oz”, the original one with Liza Minnelli’s mom playing Dorothy. They saw it at The Sphere. It was a really exciting experience, but not for the faint of heart. Apparently, the seats are set up on a very steep angle. Not only did they see the movie, but there was also some post-show Wizard of Oz-themed entertainment. The Sphere is one of those things everyone should experience. I myself am holding out for a “Captain Kangaroo” marathon to be shown there.
Note: If you have to keep looking up my mid to late 20th century entertainment references, it is going to take a lot longer to get through this letter.
I was supposed to go see my mom during the unplanned government vacation, but I was afraid of my flight getting canceled, and then I would be stuck in Aberdeen, South Dakota, while FAA tried to figure things out. And who wants to be stuck in Aberdeen? There is nothing to do there except to visit the World Famous Dryer and Bellybutton Lint Museum. I toured the museum on a family vacation in 1969 and doubt anything has changed. So instead I broke two major rules: I traveled in winter and during the holiday season. I must say Florida is a lot nicer the second week of December than the second week of August. I took my mom down to the beach a couple of times and I think the pelicans outnumbered the people. Also, all of the shops had T-shirts on sale for 75 percent off. Score, Christmas shopping completed in one store visit inside of 20 minutes.
Our dogs continue to be dogs. Lots of sleeping, shedding of fur, and keeping the local wildlife population on alert. Our youngest dog does have a knack for finding dead animal parts. At least I think they are dead, as missing an entire legs can not be too healthy. The oldest dog has decided to be AM’s alarm clock. Every morning around 0545, whether she requested it or not, Zoe wakes her up. Is that love or what? The dogs also went to post-graduate dog training this year. It is safe to say neither one was an honor graduate.
Well, not much more to say.
Hope you have a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and your significant other buys whole fat eggnog!
The Amazing Sleeping Man